i messed up. tonight. last year. 3 years ago. i messed up.
i'm sorry, colleen. i'm sorry you had to do this to yourself. i wish i could fix you.
trust me, self. i'm far from fixing. as said tonight, i brought this on myself. i need you all more than anything. i wouldn't be able to hang on if i lost you all. you're my lifeline, my rock, the only real thing that keeps me sane.
i know i made mistakes. i'm so sorry. so so sorry.
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