i'm sorry i can't make you see who i am

i'm done with all this bullshit. i wish everything just went right. this is so stupid. who am i kidding anymore?

if i drown tonight, bring me back to life

this sucks. it just fuckin plain sucks. if anyone cared that much, they would do something about it.

do these dreams have any meaning?

i wish i could believe half the things you say.

everybody scream your heart out

and the paranoia is a major side effect. hasn't ever been this bad before. been shaking a lot too. i feel like i'm on crack or some shit. i don't know anything else. i don't know what to do anymore. before i would have known, but now i don't. i need so much help but i don't know who to turn to. i'm so lost.

i love the way that we laughed until we cried, danced until we died

never in my life have i wanted to meet someone so badly. i just want to talk to him. just sit down, talk, and reflect on the things we've done, the things we're doing, and the things we're going to do. such an intellectual person. he knows religion like it's his job. i feel that he could restore my faith as a christian. i can relate to him. he speaks on a level that i know, the level of music. i truly honestly believe that he could change my life. and it's one of my main goals in life to meet him. to even have the chance to talk to him.

i plan on meeting aaron gillespie someday. i really do.

and i rationed my breaths as i said to myself that i'd already taken too much today

i screwed up. i caved. and now i can't stop. help me.

without you next to me i toss and turn like the sea

why do i always do this? it's not like i have any chance. but i can't stop thinking about it. i really honestly can't. and i don't know what to do about it.

something vague that we're not seeing

have a new song. all i need, right? another fucking song.

don't get me wrong, i love bright eyes. but this song is just too much to handle.

Waste of Paint

I have a friend, he's mostly made of pain
He wakes up, drives to work and straight back home again
He once cut one of my nightmares out of paper
I thought it was beautiful, I put it on a record cover
And I tried to tell him he had a sense
Of color and composition so magnificent
And he said, "Thank you, please
But your flattery
It's truly not becoming me
Your eyes are poor, you're blind you see
No beauty could have come from me
I'm a waste
Of breath, of space, of time"

I knew a woman, she was dignified and true
Her love for her man was one of her many virtues
Until one day she found out that he had lied
And decided the rest of her life from that point on would be a lie
She was grateful for everything that had happened
And she was anxious for all that would come next
But then she wept, what did you expect?
In that big old house with the car she kept
And, "Such is life," she often said
With one day leading to the next
You get a little closer to your death
Which was fine with her, she never got upset
And with all the days she may have left
She would never clean another mess
Or fold his shirts or look her best
She was free
To waste away alone

Last night, my brother he got drunk and drove
And this cop he pulled him off to the side of the road
And he said, "Officer, officer, you've got the wrong man
No, no, I'm a student of medicine, a son of a banker, you don't understand"
The cop said, "No one got hurt, you should be thankful
And your carelessness, it is something awful
And no, I can't just let you go
And though your father's name is known
Your decisions now are yours alone
You're nothing but a stepping stone
On a path
To debt, to loss, to shame"

The last few months I've been living with this couple
Yeah, you know the kind who buy everything in doubles
Yeah, they fit together like a puzzle
I love their love, and I am thankful
That someone actually receives the prize that was promised
By all those fairy tales that drugged us
And still do me, I'm sick, lonely
No laurel tree, just green envy
Will my number come up eventually?
Like love's some kind of lottery
Where you scratch and see what's underneath
It's sorry, just one cherry
I'll play again, get lucky

So now I hang out down by the train's depot
No, I don't ride, I just sit and watch the people there
The remind me of windup cars in motion
The way they spin and turn and jockey for positions
And I want to scream out that it all is nonsense
And their life's one track and can't they see it's pointless?
But just then my knees give under me
My head feels weak and suddenly
It's clear to see it's not them but me
Who's lost my self-identity
And I hide behind these books I read
While scribbling my poetry
Like art could save a wretch like me
With some ideal ideology
That no one could hope to achieve
And I'm never real, it's just a sketch of me
And everything I've made is trite and cheap
And a waste
Of paint, of tape, of time

So I park my car down by the cathedral
Where the floodlights point up at the steeples
Choir practice is filling up with people
I hear the sound escaping as an echo
Sloping off the ceiling at an angle
When the voices blend they sound like angels
I hope there's some room still in the middle
But when I lift my voice up now to reach them
The range is too high way up in heaven
So I hold my tongue, forget the song
Tie my shoes, start walking off
And try to just keep moving on
With my broken heart and my absent God
And I have no faith but it's all I want
To be loved, and believe
In my soul, in my soul



Waste of Paint by Bright Eyes

and i'm never real, it's just a sketch of me

i'm sorry.

this past month has been complete hell without you, i'm not gonna lie. i missed you like nobody knows.



i love you, big bro.

i am the living ghost of what you need

sorry, megan. had to take down the blog. i'll try to come up with some bitchy thing to say tomorrow to motivate you to do your homework. ;)

and i'll hang like a star, fucking glow in the dark

now and again, it seems worse than it is

i'm past being sad. now i'm just fucking angry.

never means forever

there ain't no drug, the sickness is myself

it's times like these when i wish things were the same.

down at a local bar, out on the boulevard

i miss you, minnie. i miss you so much.

(cut from the team)

it's good to know there's at least one decent person left out there.

just bound the pieces til they fit like they were made for it

i've never been more mentally unstable in my life.

so here's your holiday, hope you enjoy it this time

i've never been more alone.


i've been down before, but it's been severe this time. and i mean severe. i don't want help this time. i want to let myself go. see what happens from here. it sucks not having anyone to talk to about things though.

you were holding on to make a point; what's the point?

i wish i were dead. that's all there is to it. i honest to fucking god wish i were dead.

shut your mouth and listen closely cause the silence isn't easy

everything's been so crazy lately. and of course i have to go around thinking about all this shit that i shouldn't be thinking about. it's a bunch of bullshit if you ask me. i'm trying my best to hang on. i really am.




650 pictures and i have to look at every one. everytime.

please tell mom this is not her fault

haven't updated this thing in a long ass time. think i'm due.

school starts tomorrow. not really psyched about it. i'm not prepared in the least. this whole week is going to be so hard. my aunt is expected to go this week. i'm so unprepared for that. it's supposed to be that when someone has cancer, you kind of grieve along the way, but i've been in denial. now that it's time, i'm breaking down. it's hard.

this whole summer has been an emotional one for me. everything's just been weighing down on me i guess. i haven't taken it too well, all in all. need to come up with some new coping methods. but i have my bad habits and they're not gonna be easy to break out of. sad to say, but true.

so i prayed for what i though were angels, ended up being ambulances

i don't know anymore.

when i get upset, i feel like i'm going to throw up. i don't know when this started but it's really annoying. and i get upset a lot. so i'm constantly nausceous. if i get really upset i actually do throw up. in the past few days, i haven't had a break from it. it's not fun.

it's alright to tell me what you think about me

this is probably the 20th time i've written this on this stupid thing: i fucked up.
i guess big this time. as was said, i was in a really bitchy mood, i didn't get much sleep, i was tired and when i'm tired, i get cranky as fuck. obviously, no excuse will let me off the hook. so i don't have anything to say. i was just saying what i was thinking and it wasn't good at the time.
sorry for slipping. i'm only human.

i'm happy if you're happy with yourself

i fucked up. again. i caved.

memories that fade like photographs

today i was proven that i pretty much am a worthless piece of shit. i give up. i'm just done with everything. i can't put up a fight anymore. for the past 2 days i've been holding in tears and anger and just so much emotion. i want, need, to let it out. but i don't know how to do that anymore. it's hard.

now the rain is just washing you out of my hair

dear alex bosley,
go fuck yourself. you are the most vile, disgusting person i have ever met in my life. i've said this to a lot of people, but never really meant it. i do with you: rot in hell. stop harrassing my friends just because i wouldn't fuck you. they don't want to see pictures of your measley stub of a dick. don't EVER talk to me or ANY of my friends EVER. AGAIN. i would be the happiest person in the world if you fell off a bridge right now.
no love ever again,
colleen sheehan

i'd hate to watch you cry

honestly, it's the stupidest thing possibly ever. but i'm PMSing and i'm really actually getting upset over it. i feel stupid and teenie-ish, but i really feel like crying.

i'm sorry.

i was switched off like a light; a fighter with no fight

i honestly can't tell if i'm numb or happy. it's been so fucking long since i've been actually happy and had nothing to be worried/scared/angry/sad about, that i've forgotten what it feels like. it's not really enjoyable.

i just can't get anything right, i guess. i'm always upset over something. i'm never really happy.

a foxtrot above my head, a sockhop beneath my bed...

haven't updated here in a bit. idk why.

i started driver's ed today. i was kind of surprised i didn't have to convince my parents. they were pretty set on me not starting it until next summer but i asked today if i could go tonight with my friends and they were all for it. it was quite interesting. my instructor, reds (idk what kinda name that is), is quite a character.

one of my friends from an old lacrosse team is in the same class. it was nice to see her after a long time. she's totally chill.



on a more serious note, the other night i was considering doing something i would have seriously regretted due to my discovering of something earlier in the day. thankfully, i have a bunch of amazing friends that stopped me. and i thank them for that so so so much.

The Boys Who Cry

This pen is my only friend today
It'll last until the ink has drained away
And the paper soaks up all my thoughts
So by now it probably knows my plot
To save this world
In my own pathetic way

And this heart,
Is blistering with hope
It's complimented by the lump inside my throat
And it overflows with so much love
Magnetized to its opposing pole
So it bursts right out
In patches on my coat

When does this end
This smile
I pretend to have is fading
And I can't take another inch of it
Someone better take my hand before I quit

This young man is not a man at all
Just a little boy who grew up way too tall
And this big board game
I play alone
Seems hopeless now with the rules unknown
But I still go on with the chances very small
I'd look for love
But it's just like a phone call
I would not hang up
But I can't speak words at all
B-b-but it's breaking up
The signal's gone
Please help me now
So I don't feel lost
When the markers of the trail have begun to fall

When does this end
This smile I pretend to have is fading
And I cant take another inch of it
Someone better take my hand before I quit



Quit now while your brain still functions
Quit now cause the failure comforts you
Quit now while your eyes still open
Quit now while your heart still has no clue
Quit now cause it's just too easy
To throw out your dreams and just give in
Even the smallest risk is still a risk to take
Quit now and spare the chance to win

'i do not exist', we faithfully insist

i know a ton of shit has gone down lately. i wish i was around yesterday to support everyone. i'm sorry, to those of you who needed it. i'll try not to be so stupid next time.

i've gone into neutral. this doesn't happen very often to me. it's a strange feeling really. like i don't really care about anything.

a subtle reminder of hearts filled with loneliness

another concert missed. it was hard, but not as hard as last time. i really don't want this to become a habit.
it's only happened twice but i feel like a failure everytime it does. like it's getting rubbed in my face that i failed my exams. i know i'm dumb, but i don't need it shoved back at me.

i'm definitely going to have to try a lot harder next year. i need to. i hate this.

Cut Me, Mick

I can't keep this together,
And I might lose this year.
I can't get through December,
And you know all my fears.

Someplace, somewhere behind me,
I walked right through the truth.
Truth is that you're the one thing,
That always pulls me through.

This troubled life I choose..
You are the one that I need,
You know that I can still bleed.
Bring me back to life..
Bring me back to life..
You let me down from my cloud,
You keep my feet on the ground.
Bring me back to life..
Bring me back to life..

When I thought that I might,
Be invincible.
It wasn't long before I,
Was invisible.

To your eyes and I swear,
There's nothing left in here.
And the more you say you don't care,
The more I know you're there.
You are the one that I need,
You know that I can still bleed.
Bring me back to life..
Bring me back to life..
You let me down from my cloud,
You keep my feet on the ground.
Bring me back to life..
Bring me back to life..

I can't keep this together..
(you are the one that I need..)
I can't stay sick forever..
(you know that I can still bleed..)
I can't stop this disaster..
(you bring me down from my cloud..)
I can't fall any faster..

You are the one that I need,
You know that I can still bleed.
Bring me back to life..
Bring me back to life..
You are the one that I need,
You know that I can still bleed.
Bring me back to life..
Bring me back to life..
You let me down from my cloud,
You keep my feet on the ground.
Bring me back to life..
Bring me back to life..

You are the one that I need..
You know that I can still bleed..
You let me down from my cloud..
You keep my feet on the ground..

don't bother, angel; i know exactly what goes on

i'm so unbelievably scared i'm going to lose everyone. i've only started feeling like this recently. and i've never ever been this scared.

please don't leave me. i need you.

i never want to hear the truth

today was awful. i had a panic attack and he wasn't even there. it wasn't him. it was his grandma. this is getting ridiculous. this is so unbelievably hard for me. i can't control myself anymore.

and i felt love, again.

cause enough is never quite enough; what's enough?

so today was definitely one of my better days. i helped my mom with washing the cars, took care of the dog, went to church and stuff. and i made an all time low collage to go on my wall. it turned out great and i'm really happy with it.



it was all great until i had to go think about him. i'm trying so unbelievably hard to let him go, aimie knows that, but fuck, it's so god damn hard. i just want this all to be over. i wish everything that ever happened would go away. he's ruining my life, one thought at a time. i can't take it anymore.

so you tear at your hair and scratch at your skin

i'm a useless piece of shit. i'm worthless. i'm a shit friend. no one can change my mind on this.

i just wanna break you down so badly in the worst way

i feel like i've moved to the bottom of the food chain quickly. it's not the best feeling in the world. let me just go on record saying that anger and jealousy are very close cousins, if not siblings.

come on, have your way with me

i'm obviously not good enough for you. that must've been why you broke me and dragged me along for the ride. i know i have a lot of flaws, but am i really that bad? is that why you hate me so much? i just want to know what it is that you hate so much about me. what i did that made you want to hurt me so badly. because it obviously had to be something. there has to be something that wrong with me to make you want to hurt me so fuckin badly. that's honestly all i want. to know exactly what i did or what's so wrong with me that made you do this.

that's all i'm asking. can't you tell me?

let's drink to feelings of temptation

kinda funny how sarah and i were thinking the same thing yesterday. why do i have friends? i don't have anything interesting to talk about with anyone. i'm lame at comebacks, i'm a terrible conversation holder, and i'm overall boring. i just don't understand.

i don't know why anyone bothers to talk to me or hang out with me. i'm a pretty shitty friend, if you ask me. i try to offer advice when people have problems but i'm bad at that too.

if you're my friend, i don't understand why. i really honestly don't get it.

trying to drown out that ringing voice

so my family and i had a "family meeting". we talked about my anger problems. i know i'm an angry person, but i didn't know it was that much of an issue.
i hate talking about anything with my family. it's probably at the bottom of my list. i feel so insecure when i talk with them. like i'm put on the spot and all my emotions are put out like a showcase. it scares the fuck out of me.

it's crazy how much i hate talking to my real family. how much i love talking to my not irl family. sometimes i think i love them more than the real deal. sometimes i actually do.

i owe every breath to you

honestly.

11:11

what a childish concept. but why do i keep wishing? i know it'll never come true. things would be completely different if it did.

introduction to outselling a salesman

it's kind of funny, the relationship i have with my sister. it's almost bi-polar. one second i love her, the next i wish she'd die right then and there. whenever i try to convince my parents to let me do something/go somewhere, she comes up with some stupid reason to stop me from doing it. take tonight for an example. friday is megan's birthday and she asked if molly and i would go to a local show at the recher.

katie: sooo colleen whats that thing you wanted to do on friday again?
mom: oh what are you talking about?
me: well... blah blah asking about the show
mom: oh i see. so you would go this and wear your heavy black makeup and wear your black clothes and everything
katie: -laughing her ass off-
me: katie, you're not helping my case here.
katie: -dying pretty much-
mom: well, it sounds ok to me, i guess..
katie: how about if you don't wear your makeup than you can go?
me: who are you, my mother?
mom/dad: that sounds great!
dad: -launches into speech about 'parent approving appearance'

she can suck my imaginary 12 inch.

mixed drinks, mixed feelings of elation

i don't really have anything to say but i felt like posting something on here. hm.

please don't give up, dear walls; don't let the ceiling fall

i'm gonna be very honest when i say that i'm crying while writing this. hard.

one my favorite bands, the matches, has gone on hiatus. i never really went much farther than the music with them, which was unlikely of me. this was one of the first bands that i didn't go scrummaging around for every known fact about every member. i just loved them for the music. from the very second i heard 'salty eyes', i fell in love. it's still the most played song on my ipod.

i never went to a matches show, and now i regret it more than anything. i kept telling myself to go check them out in person, but i never did. and i can't believe it. now my chances are gone and i'll always regret it.

dear shawn, matt, dylan, and jon,
you 4 boys have made some of the best music i've heard. when i listen to you, i feel safe. not much music can do that to a person, let alone me. thank you for that. thank you for everything you've done for me. i love you more than you, or even i, know. i'm sorry i never had the honor of meeting you. you mean so much to me. i'll be the first person to know if and when you come back.
love always,
colleen s.

so i faced the fact that i'm just fine

i miss you like fuck. but i know you'll be back soon.

love you.

if you're listening, sing it back

if i were a guy and a girl loved me this much, i would be so happy.

cause there's nothing surgery can do

i've come to realize my biggest problem of all. i am an extremely jealous person.

i can get jealous over the smallest things. from one of my friends having a ringtone that i want to anything as big as seeing a friend start liking someone else better than me. that's just my personality. that's just the way i am.

i get very angry when i'm jealous. but i'm really good at hiding it. you probably would never even guess that i was angry with you. but, trust me, i am.

so i've decided that i need to start working on my jealousy issues. it's bringing me down a lot and stopping me from excelling in many things. i just hope that i can help myself.

maybe when the door gets broke down, love can break in

i messed up. tonight. last year. 3 years ago. i messed up.

i'm sorry, colleen. i'm sorry you had to do this to yourself. i wish i could fix you.

trust me, self. i'm far from fixing. as said tonight, i brought this on myself. i need you all more than anything. i wouldn't be able to hang on if i lost you all. you're my lifeline, my rock, the only real thing that keeps me sane.

i know i made mistakes. i'm so sorry. so so sorry.

push pen to paper and put your bottle down

tuesday afternoon i was working in my dad's office, filing (which i've become a total beast at i must say), when i got a tweet that said 'acoustic show at white marsh mall today'. i thought 'man, i wish i could go to that. but there's no way in hell my parents would let me.' until a few minutes later when i realized the last time these guys came around and my parents wouldn't let me go THEN, that my mom promised me i could go the next time they came here. i was so excited to get out of work and ask my parents if i could go. when my parents came to the concensus, i just about flipped a shit. i was going to meet set it off.

anyone who knows me (actually that's a lie, only really molly) knows just how badly i've wanted to meet set it off. i've watched all the videos, read the bio's, listened to the music, fallen in love. i knew they would be totally chill, but i ALWAYS wanted to find out for myself.

i was freaking out on the way to the mall, and pretty much died when we got close (megan can testify to this). i thought my heart was gonna literally explode when molly texted me and said that cody had just talked to her. megan and i ran out of my car and ran through the mall. when we got to the hot topic, i found molly, asked her where cody was, and we all left in search for him. we went to the food court looking. molly, molly's little brother zach, and i were standing around waiting for megan to finish up in the bathroom when zach pointed and said 'there!' i turned and, sure enough, there was cody carson and zach something walking straight toward us. i gasped, ran a few feet, and threw my arms around cody. i couldn't for the life of me believe that cody carson was here in the flesh. he was taken a bit off-guard, but took it very well. 'oh! hey! how are you! i assume you're coming to the show?' he said. i just nodded and stared. this was the real deal.

we ran back to hot topic while the band before set it off, retro ignite (they're rad, check em out), was finishing up their set. then the time came. danny clermont, cody, and zach sat down and got ready for their 6 song set. i was thrilled out of my mind. after 2 songs, danny invited me, molly, megan, and zach to come sit up in front. as a joke, i asked danny if i could sit on his lap. well, being the kind of guy he is, he said yes. so during 'introduction to outselling a salesman', i sat on danny clermont's lap. i couldn't ever put into words how utterly excited i was. nervous out of my mind, but excited. during the song, one of the dudes from retro came up and put a tiara on my head. it made me happy.

the last song they played was 'oh marjorie'. this was the first song i ever heard by them. the minute i started listening to it, i fell in love. it made me the happiest person in the world to hear it live, right in front of them.

after the set, we got to hang out with all of them. i can't describe my feelings. we went over to chik-fil-a with molly's mom after. i saw cody walking around and got molly and megan to get him to talk to my mom on the phone to convince her to let me go to their show the next night. he had done it with megan's mom and a few other people's after. sad to say, the call didn't convince her, but it was still so awesome that he actually called her.

i can very honestly say that tuesday night WAS the best night of my life. i met my idols. if you haven't had the chance to be able to do that, and you get an opportunity, do it. it's the best feeling in the world. i've never been so happy. ever. that night will keep me going for a very long time.

fuck today, fuck san francisco, fuck california

as you know, i watched the episode of lost where charlie dies. i know it's stupid, but i cried harder than i have in a long time.
i could feel myself sinking and this pretty much crossed the line. so i've sunken real low. i don't know when i'll get back up, hopefully soon.
fuck, i hate when this happens.
to be very honest, the only thing that's really been making my day is that one picture.

bury my head in the shit at the bottom..

i've always been one to stay back and observe. i feel like lately, i've been doing it too much. i need to change. but it seems like sometimes, people don't even want me involved. like i'm in the way. i hate that feeling but i get it a lot.

sorry if i seem like i'm in the way. i either want to be involved or ignored. it's best i think.

when i was a kid, my family and i used to always go on a family trip for a few days during the summer. it was normally somewhere in the midwest, like montana or wyoming.

on our trip to wyoming, a majority of my family went. my dad, charlie, my mom, vicki, my sister, katie, my aunt, patty, my cousin, matt, and his best friend, greg. we rented a nice little townhouse. when we went grocery shopping, my parents made the mistake of giving matt and greg each their own carts. keep in mind, they were about 19 at the time and would eat anything and everything that crossed their paths. my dad had a cart, my mom had a cart, and matt and greg both with carts. when we met back up at the checkout, their carts were literally overflowing with food. every single kind of food you could imagine. my parents' carts were full too, though nothing like matt and greg's. our bill was about 500 dollars. we had gotten 2 pounds of lunch meat. we went back every single day to get another 2 pounds. silly teenage boys.

when we arrived at the house, i went immediately to the first bedroom and was pleased to find 2 bunkbeds in it. i called the top bunk quickly before my sister could. my dad was hesitant about letting me sleep up there, as the side rails weren't very high, and almost non-existent. but i, being the stubborn little kid that i was, insisted that i would be fine and that i could sleep up there.

that night, my dad slept in the top bunk across the room from me. he wanted to make sure that i was okay during the night. i'm not a very still sleeper and i move around everywhere. well i guess i moved a little too suddenly for my dad's liking and he freaked. he tried to find the ladder down the bunk to come over and check on me. he didn't find the ladder and fell off the bed, fracturing a rib. my dad did this because of me. i slept soundlessly through the whole thing.
when i woke up, i was in a bottom bunk. i'm not sure quite how i got there, but i was safe. i found out about my dad and didn't really know what to think. it was kind of funny, how ironic the situation was.

that day, my family insisted on going white-water rafting. i hate boats. with a burning passion. my mom knew that at the time. i knew exactly how dangerous it was for me to go on it. i was a little kid, but shit, was i clever. my dad couldn't go because of his rib. when my family was getting ready to go out on the raft, i begged my mom not to make me do it. i would have done anything not to go on that stupid raft. my mom bent down to my level, looked me dead in the eye, and said "do you want to have the time of your life? or do you want to go grocery shopping with your father?"

while on the raft, i looked up around every corner. my dad was there. around every single corner. he was taking pictures for us. he never went grocery shopping. he was watching us have an awesome time. well, the rest of my family.
we still have the picture that the professional photographer took. anyone who's been to my house has seen it. my mom insists that every single person that passes through the house sees it. here's how it goes:
matt- he just happened to be flexing his arm while paddling at the right time and looks like a model
greg- happy as a clam
katie- laughing with her massive buckteeth (it was her awkward stage)
mom- laughing like a maniac
patty- not quite sure whether to be very happy or very scared
creeper instructor man- bored
me- scared completely shitless out of my god damn mind
i hate that picture.
i don't regret going on that raft because i know that if i hadn't, my mom would never let me live it down.
i don't remember anything else of the trip. i know that it was fun, as all family trips go when you're 8.

lost

i seem to be getting a bad habit of staying up until 3 in the morning. it's not good for me, i know, but i get distracted with one thing and another and i lose track of time.
so i, about 2 minutes ago, finished the second season of lost. it's addicting. crazy shit is going down all the time. it's so intense.
today was jack barakat's 21st birthday. i was planning on calling him at home because, thanks to sarah, i have his home number. i was so excited to until the time to call him actually came. i got so fuckin freaked out i couldn't do it.
so, jack, i was going to call you today to wish you a happy bday. but frankly the thought of having to talk to your mom if she picked up scared me shitless. sorry, joyce. i love you, jack. way to be legal now.

here i'll shoot, you run

i always thought the first post for everything was really awkward.
this is no exception. i don't really know what to say at the moment, soooooo yea.




lmao that was gay.